When Food is Its Own Reward     

One year, I tried to fast in November. It was quite a few days.  
I don't know what it is about eating, but I have to do it! It is compulsive.  
It's a reflex. Not everyone has the same problem. Many women  
get away with skipping to eat. Especially in Los Angeles.  
My favorite part about living in Los Angeles is how people move  
to Los Angeles to be fake. It seems that Los Angeles is a magnet  
for superficial people. There is no better place to be flaky and inconsiderate.  
You can go for udon, and say things like, I'm so full I'm cramping.  
This can be a lie but you can say it with conviction. I try  
to stay awake through conversations about Lo-carb and Zone dieting.  
There is always a woman who claims that water is the key  
to her success. I find solace in the fact that water can poison you  
if you have too much. There was the radio station where they had a contest  
to see who could keep drinking water and hold their pee. One woman died.  
The disc jockeys lost their jobs. And now their grandchildren get to say  
they are the ones who made a woman hold her pee to her death. Food  
can be intoxicating. You can be reading a magazine all about food!  
And this can make you want a grilled cheese. Something simple  
and unobtrusive in your conscience. You can countenance a grilled cheese  
because it is hardly eating. You can make yourself a peanut butter sandwich  
as a way to feel your eating is invisible. Almost always, eating is accompanied  
by drinking. Eating and drinking go hand and foot. Eating is tantamount  
to living. Drinking is tantamount to having a good time. Even when  
you are drinking orange juice, there is a guilty pleasure associated with it.  
Like you can rot your teeth out of your head, but love every minute.  
With no regrets. Orange juice is a natural mixer. It makes even the dullest  
spirits jolly. I like that they call them spirits and not fumes. That only  
matters because drinking should not be associated with cars.   



as seen in RealPoetik